Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
