No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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