Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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