the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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