I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They took my balls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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