No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
sex in a hospital.. check
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
