he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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