I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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