This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
