dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
