a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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