is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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