ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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