The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
