Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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