The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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