Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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