pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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