i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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