I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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