I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
