dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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