just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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