Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
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somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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