its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize