I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
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Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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