whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't deserve a penis
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize