but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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