even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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