Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
