u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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