guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
