can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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