sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
