Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
