And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
