I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
