if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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