They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
