This girl is more easily done than said...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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