I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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