I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize