His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
