it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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