Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
