Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
