One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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