it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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