your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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