can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
you made out with another girl for some wings
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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