everyone is single if you try hard enough
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
