my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
