I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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