Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
