This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can't put those talents on a resume
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
