i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
