Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
