Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
