By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize