What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
