It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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