Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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