he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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