My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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