Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just threw up on my dentist
its not stalking. its research.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
