I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
