I heard we made out
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
