You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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